I fell in love with baseball when I was twelve. I tried football, soccer, and basketball, but baseball was the game for me! By the time I was 16 I was dreaming of playing Division 1 college ball. At times my fantasies would get wild and crazy and I could actually see myself moving to New York and signing with the Yankees! Life couldn’t get any better than that!

All the years I was growing up my dad was constantly telling me: Discipline is the Key to Success. I knew he was right. To make this dream come true I couldn’t settle for just being good. I had to be the best, and that would only come with determination and discipline.

I was fortunate. I had a very supportive family. My mom and dad were at all my games. My little sister and brother looked at me as their own personal hero, clipping my picture out of the newspaper and bragging to all their friends about my accomplishments. My family was right there with me when my team made it to the regional playoffs two years in a row. You would have thought we were headed for the World Series when we made it to the state finals my senior year. It was disappointing when we didn’t win, but what a journey! And my parents were there every step of the way. No matter how far they had to travel they were always there cheering me on!

In the spring of my senior year, my dream came true. I received a baseball scholarship to a major university. I was on an incredible high from all the excitement! Once I got on the college campus there was an added bonus that I hadn’t considered. Girls! They were everywhere. And for some reason they seemed to be attracted to me.

In high school there were lots of girls who were my close friends. But only one of those became serious, and that only lasted a few months. While we dated, my dad’s motto constantly rang in my ear: Discipline is the Key to Success. I learned very quickly that I was a normal All American boy with raging hormones in that short-term relationship. Although nothing happened, I knew it could have very easily. I finally decided it was just too difficult to control the physical desires I had for my girlfriend and focus on baseball at the same time. Other guys on the team did it, they even bragged about it, but I just couldn’t do it. When the relationship was over, I made a decision to enjoy girls as friends and avoid serious relationships.

Now here I was on the college campus and girls seemed to be throwing themselves at me. There was one girl in particular. At first I ignored her. She was really making a fool of herself. But after a while it was obvious that she was not only willing, she was also going to be very easy. Before long, I convinced myself I was more of a fool than she was for passing up such an opportunity. After all, I had succeeded with my big dream of a baseball scholarship. Why not kick back and have some fun now!

It didn’t take long for me to start feeling uncomfortable about this relationship. I didn’t love this girl. In fact, I didn’t even like her. As a result, I quickly ended the relationship. I knew I needed to get my focus back on baseball. After all, keeping my scholarship was contingent on my performance on the field not behind closed doors.

Two days after I broke off the relationship a man dressed in a suit showed up at baseball practice and asked to see me. I assumed he was another newspaper reporter. As he started talking, I was having a hard time following what he was saying. Then the words became clear as I heard him say I was being arrested for rape.

Rape! What a horrible word! But I didn’t rape that girl. She threw herself at me. We were both consenting adults. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing! At that very moment, everything about my life changed. I had just stepped into a nightmare that wasn’t going to go away.

It seemed the girl had gone to the police within a few hours after I broke up with her and said I raped her. She evidently even had a few bruises and torn clothes. The problem was I never tore her clothes nor did I do anything that would have caused bruises, and I certainly never raped her!

The hardest phone call of my life was when I had to call my parents from the police station and tell them I had been arrested for rape. I could actually feel the pain I had inflicted upon them. After all, they had raised me to respect women not rape them.

Once again my mother and father dropped everything to be by my side. This time it wasn’t to cheer my team on to victory. It was to provide support as I went through the preliminary investigation of rape.

My parents were the only support I received. The university dropped my scholarship with amazing speed. I didn’t even have to go clean out my locker in the field house. All my equipment and personal belongings were just left on my bed in a cardboard box. It was obvious the school had judged and ruled me guilty.

Weeks turned into months and months turned into a year; the most horrible year of my life. Once again I found myself getting all kinds of attention from the press and people on the street, but this time I hated the attention.

After 14 months of walking through hell, the charges were finally dropped. People said I got off easy and I should be thankful I didn’t spend several years behind bars. But I didn’t feel thankful for anything. I just felt shame. I had let so many people down. There was the university, my team, my friends, my hometown, my parents, my sister and brother. I let them all down. But most of all I let myself down.

I knew I did not rape that girl, but it was simply her word against mine. The torn clothes and bruises were a clever touch on her part to make me look guilty. Obviously, this was her way of getting back at me for walking out of her life. I was just now beginning to see how unstable this girl really was.

It’s kind of strange. It ended up being the high standards and strong character I demonstrated during high school, along with an extensive list of friends, teachers, and coaches who were prepared to come to my defense as character witnesses, that caused the prosecution to eventually drop the charges. Perhaps the people are right. Maybe I am lucky. If I had a reputation of drugs, alcohol, and sex in high school like so many of the guys on my team had, I would probably be sitting behind bars right now. And yet the one time I compromised my standards I got nailed to the wall royally!

In baseball a player gets three strikes before he is out. Life isn’t always that generous. I had a friend in high school who got pregnant the first time she had sex. Her life was never the same after that one night. I can remember thinking how unfair for girls that they pay such a great price for sex while guys get off unscathed. Well, I know better now. Sex doesn’t just destroy the dreams of teenage girls. Occasionally, some of us guys have a price to pay as well.

My dream of baseball is now over. My passion for the game died the day I was arrested. But actually, the nightmare didn’t start on that day. It actually started the day I took my focus off baseball and allowed myself to be distracted by all the attention I was getting. How could I have forgotten my dad’s words so quickly? Discipline is the Key to Success!

At the moment, I’m just wondering when the pain will stop? When will I stop asking myself questions like: How will I explain this horrible ordeal to my future wife? I can hear myself saying, “I love you and I want you to spend the rest of your life with me. Oh, and by the way, did I tell you I was once arrested for rape?”

How do I tell her parents that I was arrested for rape? It was in all the papers. I can’t play like it didn’t happen. What will I tell my children when they ask why I didn’t pursue my dream of baseball? I have certainly learned the hard way that choices we make in life can have a lasting impact on our future.

I’m confident that when I have children I will follow my dad’s footsteps and teach them that Discipline is the Key to Success. However, I think I’ll take it a step further and talk about how difficult discipline is. Maybe I’ll use my own story as an example to help them learn how passion can so quickly destroy self-discipline. I just hope they can learn from my experience and that something good can eventually come from this horrible mess.